Don't Go Backwards

A week ago, I heard Holy Spirit say, "Don't go backwards." I was listening to see if I would receive more direction, but nothing. Yesterday I was sitting on the sofa, and the conversation began again. Every time we encounter a challenge, it appears to be a daunting task.

I was reminded of the many struggles to finish my dissertation—tearful long nights, often waking up with my computer in my lap, no personal life, and writing every weekend for 4 years. In 2021, during the last course before I became "All But Dissertation (ABD)," I dropped out for a semester, believing I couldn't finish. This course was the hardest class I had ever faced, and although I had taken a few challenging courses before, none were like this one. As led, I enrolled again and passed that class. Next, I needed to defend my proposal, which took me a year longer than it should have. I was spinning my wheels on one detail, but the Most High helped me overcome and complete that. I kept thinking, Is this really what I am supposed to be doing? Would G-d have me doing something this difficult? Each phase had challenges I had never faced in any situation before, but G-d! Finally, in April 2023, I defended my research, passed with minor revisions, and graduated in May 2023. Since then, I have helped several other doctoral students with their process by providing guidance and sharing my materials with the last few cohorts as requested, and I can discuss the process knowledgeably.

Holy Spirit then showed me that once you finish something, you do not go back to start over. You go on to help others, to face a new assignment, knowing that the Most High put the ability to move forward, face challenges, and do the impossible in each of us that He calls to complete difficult tasks.

Next, I saw Abraham; in Genesis 12:1-4, the Most High commanded him to leave his father's household for a place he did not know, and G-d promised to bless him, make him a great nation, and make his name great. He faced so many challenges, yet he never went backwards. He never returned to what he knew before; he was always facing each new part of the journey with the Most High, learning what he needed to move forward. He never saw the total fulfillment of what was promised, yet he believed G-d and kept going.

Occasionally, I have thought what is comfortable and familiar seems so much easier than facing the unknown ahead, yet we grow and accomplish more by embracing the unknown. I thought that at 58 I was done with "hard things," yet I find myself now in the midst of not one but two difficult tasks. This time, I understand that these tasks are integral to my earthly purpose, and my perseverance will bring blessings to others.

I know why I heard that now: past places, people, and experiences; the memories and nostalgia can be a distraction from future purposes. While it may seem easier to go back or stay where I am, following the lepers' reasoning in 2 Kings 7:3-4, staying put or going back would definitely mean death—perhaps not physical death, but spiritual death to purpose. Therefore, going forward is the only way; each time I have trusted the Most High and moved forward, He has blessed others and me beyond what could have ever been expected.

Lastly, as I write this post, I hear Jeremiah 29:11 CJB, "For I know what plans I have in mind for you, says ADONAI, plans for well-being, not for bad things, so that you can have hope and a future."

Keep Moving Forward! Don't Go Backwards...

Shalom Ephraim.