Procrastination, Regret, and Delay

Holy Spirit spoke to me about these three postures for how we approach the kingdom assignments assigned to us that are designed to bless others and our own lives.

Yeshua, in John 9:4-5, spoke to his disciples, telling them, "As long as it is day, we must keep doing the work of the One who sent me; the night is coming when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am light of the world." He gave the blueprint for every believer in the Messiah, showing how we are to work each day we are blessed with life by the Father. We are commanded to perform the deeds and tasks assigned to us by the Most High without hesitation or delay. Each of us is placed here on earth with a purpose to please Abba.

Some of us are diligent in performing what is placed before us, but some of us struggle with procrastination and delay, which can lead to regret. Holy Spirit wanted me to encourage those who have struggled with any of these to know that we serve a forgiving G-d who blesses us with the ability to repent and ask for an opportunity to still get it done. I am a living witness with this website that He is merciful and compassionate and specializes in a second chance.

Backstory: In 2022, toward the end of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had been told to start a Torah education site with motivational material and teachings based on our Hebraic roots. Many believers do not understand that our Messiah was from the tribe of Judah, a Jew, and we are adopted into His family, and many of us are in the lineage of the lost tribes of Israel in the diaspora (Israelites) who lost our heritage, and we do not know who we are. We are Ephraim! Yet, we do not know what our Messiah would really have us do as believers in Him. And that was my assignment: to share what I am learning about my Hebraic roots and the Torah and to learn more than just the back of the book (New Testament), which cannot be understood without understanding the front and middle of the book (Old Testament and Apocrypha). Have you ever watched a movie and come in later in the plot and asked others who have been watching from the beginning lots of questions to understand and get the true meaning of what is happening in the plot of the story? Or do you think you know what is happening, only to find out that you missed the whole point of the story that was foretold in the first few minutes? That is what many of us who come out of "the church" are doing. Before learning about my Hebraic heritage, I had no clue that the Messiah was quoting Deuteronomy when addressing hasatan in Matthew and Luke 4 during His testing in the wilderness. Similarly, in Luke 2:21-24, when Mary took Yeshua on the eighth day to the temple for his b'rit-milah (circumcision and naming [he received the name Yeshua, a Hebrew name]) and then offered her sacrifice of a pair of doves and two young pigeons required by the Torah after finishing her period of purification, it was because they were obedient Jews and doing what was commanded in Leviticus 12:8 and even further back when the Most High commanded Abraham in Genesis 17:12 to circumcise every male throughout his generations on the eighth day as part of the covenant the Most High made with Abraham. This is the same Abraham we identify with as his seed because of Romans 4:13-14. In chasing more of the Most High than the church experience, I wanted a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him, which led me to know more about my Hebraic roots. I was getting "fat and full" on what I was learning, but I wasn't fully sharing. Life Changing Ministries International was birthed, and yet He still said more: do the website. I kept procrastinating and making excuses—no one is going to read it. What do I have to say that hasn't been said? And I don't know where to start. I wrote a whole dissertation and received my doctorate in 2023, but would not write what He was asking this time. Fast forward a few years to March 25th, 2025: My entire team had our contract funds rescinded, and we were laid off, and I was trying to figure out my next step. One night in my prayer, the Spirit reminded me what I had been told to do, and I began with a new set of excuses about how now I have to keep my finances, look for a job, etc., and gently the Spirit reminded me, "The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing" (Psalm 23:1), and I cried a river and asked Him to forgive me for putting my agenda before His plan and for not being obedient. I then started to regret all the years I had been disobedient and the people who may have missed a word of encouragement because of my disobedience. The very next day, He let me see one of my favorite Jane Austen PBS shows, and the Spirit said, "Jane Austen lived a modest life, but today people are making billions from her work." Then Spirit said, "The Bible was written by men who had no idea how far-reaching their works would be even 2000 years later." It was not about the money or the fame but the purpose and call. I begged him that day to show me how to create a website myself and how to do all the work, and within a week, Total Choice, which had been formed legally on paper in 2022, was up and running. Only a few people are subscribed so far, but the goal is obedience, not popularity; it's a site dedicated to the Messianic perspective as I learn more truth.

I shared all of that to say this: procrastination, delay, and regret for me came from really a fear of failing and doubt in my ability, but once you bring all those things to G-d, who loves us so dearly and wants us to succeed, He can give you everything you need to succeed. The Holy Spirit tells me every day what to share, and I obey. Simply, I hear and obey, and He gets the glory. Why? I do the work that the Father has put before me for the day. I thank Him for wanting to use me; He did not have to forgive me, but He did. He could have chosen someone else, but He didn't. He chose to be merciful and wait for me to come to Him and ask for another chance, and He granted me another opportunity. Now, I get excited when I hear what to share. You are right now reading the fruit of my prayers for forgiveness, and another chance has been answered.

If you are dealing with procrastination, delay, and/or regret, I urge you to look deep into yourself (in these days of counting the Omer) and get to the root of why that is happening. Take it to the Father, ask Him to forgive you, ask Him to give you another chance, and, if needed, accelerate the process so that His will for that task, that book, that business, that website, that (fill in your blank) can be done. The fire of Shavuot is upon us. Amen.

Scriptures:

John 9:4-5

Proverbs 14:23

Ephesians 5:15-17